Wednesday, November 7, 2007

mY bABy



This is my precious Declan Richard Mullins. He was born on Friday, November 2Nd 2007. He weighed 5 lbs. 3 oz. and was 18 1/2 inches long. It is absolutely overwhelming and wonderful that he is here, but unfortunately he was born five weeks early. I was only 35 weeks along; which my due date was December 5Th. Are you ready for the longest BLOGG from me??? Here's the story:
It came unexpectedly to say the least. I was just cleaning-touching up the office, dusting, and then went to the laundry room to put some dirty rags in the Motel Laundry room. Well, as I was standing there, all of a sudden I got a huge rush of liquid run down my leg and onto the floor, (good thing the floor in the Laundry room was cement because it was easy to clean up). I thought at first, "Well, this is embarrassing. Did I just pee myself?" I just stood there for a moment and realized that what I felt and what just happened was not pee, it was the moment when my water broke. Scary? Very scary...I was kind of in denial, so me being the new coming mother that I am I looked up on the Internet what happens when your water might break really quick. So, I read...and sure enough I did, with the information that I got off the Internet. However I had to hear it from somebody, so I called my mother right away and didn't really even let her say "hi" without me cutting in and saying, "What happens when your water breaks?" So, I then called the doctor's office to see if I can come in to check and make sure...so then they told me to come right in ASAP. Then I called my husband.
I called Kris and luckily he had service this day out in the desert; which he NEVER DOES--miracle right there. He answered and I was really nervous and started crying and told him, "Umm...I am pretty sure my water just broke and I'm on my way to the doctor." I could tell Kris was kind of in shock and surprise, and said, "What?". So, I called Becky and they came rushing over to pick me up and take me to the doctor...while Laura rushed over to watch the office for me. I got to the office; which I hate the doctor's office here that I go to--very, well, rude and dumb. I get there and I said, "I am here to meet the doctor on call because my water broke--and my doctor is out of town." The girl was just like, "Okay, well, take a seat and we'll send ya back in a minute." I sat there for TEN MINUTES at least!!! Ridiculous right? Sure enough doctor said go over to the hospital, get checked in and you are going to have a kid today. UGH!!! Just imagine what I felt...I was not ready in anyway what so ever for him to be here yet--no crib set up--no car seat--room not ready....NOTHING!!! Seriously Kris and I planned on getting things ready the next day, Saturday the 3Rd.
So, I went into labor. I can not honestly tell you when I really started to feel the pain, but, yeah it hurts. It felt a lot like kidney stones to me, but more intense because my contractions were right on top of each other--seriously to. No time to breathe, nothing. Ouch--so I gave in to the Epidural. Pretty great drug if I do say so myself. I couldn't even lift up my right leg, I could my left a little, but my right was quite the struggle; which then they later had to stop the Epidural because it was working a little to well for me. Kind of funny. Really relaxed me, actually fell asleep kind of for a bit<--while in labor. But, I kept on saying I was feeling pressure and his head was right there, but the nurses did not want me to start pushing; which I think was a big mistake, because the doctor came in later and said, "Let's go!" He also said to them that they waited way to long to get me going, I was ready a long time ago. But, I finally went into the delivery room--scary room kind of. All tile and just huge lights looking at ya. So, pushing time came and it didn't take long at all. Maybe five pushes tops...can not really remember. It was the weirdest thing I have ever gone through. Very weird to not feel him inside me anymore. I will admit it that I miss it terribly because at least he was still here with me.
Declan came into the world at 5:33pm that day. He came into the world with a struggle and quite a trial to say the least. He had breathing problems; which is due to the fact he's five weeks early. But he had a breathing thing put over his head--a humidifier. Declan cried and groaned and just looked like it hurt to breathe...and it was horrible to see. I went in after getting cleaned and into a clean gown and when I saw him I lost all my composure and started crying quite a bit. I felt horrible to say the least. But oddly enough, I never really got a bad-bad feeling about him. I knew that everything was going to be okay, but I just hated that Declan had to go through this and I could not do anything about it.
He was life flighted to SLC to the University Hospital in the New Born ICU. Both Kris and I got to go on the plane with the little guy. It was a very smooth-nice-fast trip. Took us maybe 30-40 minutes to get to SLC.
We landed in the SLC airport, and then was picked up by a ambulance that took us up to the University Hospital. We followed behind Declan as they took him in the ICU. They told us to wait in the waiting room, and wonderfully enough the doctors came back out in like less than 30 minutes to give us somewhat of good news. The doctor said that he had Pneumonia, that's why he is working so hard to breathe because of all the fluid in his lungs. I had a very calm feeling come over me, and it's not great that he got sick, but great that they knew what was wrong and it can be fixed.
So, this was Saturday that the little guy was life flighted...one day old :( Kris and I spent the night at the hospital in a "Parent Room." It was not that comfortable, but at least they let us stay there for the night. We both have wonderful families that all came up to come and see him and show their support. Everyone got to see him, for the most part...except for Chase. He was kind of sick and they have a sign that said if you are slightly sick, to please not come in. So, maybe when we go back tomorrow for the weekend Chase is feeling better and can see Declan.
The day before we left he had improved quite a bit--Monday. Still not great, but better. He was moved into a more calmer room, like a nursery. He has his own little corner. Very grateful that he was taken off the air support and just had the little tubes by his nose for some support. Still on some antibiotics for his lungs, but will be done with that this weekend hopefully.
I can not believe how strong this baby is. He has gone through so much, and he just keeps on trucking on and improving; which I am EXTREMELY GRATEFUL. I did not imagine that this would happen to me. It has been truly humbling and eye awakening. I could not be more blessed to be able to have a baby boy in my life--who is being so strong and fighting so hard to be here with us. Kris and I have gotten stronger and closer, in a different way. Not that we were not close before, but it has changed us in ways that is hard to explain...
I know when I can not hold my baby, Heavenly Father is there to hold him for me. I hate being away from him--and having to wait to go back every weekend. I wish I could stay there all day long, everyday until he comes home. It was very hard to leave the other day. I kept on saying goodbye and walking back and touching him one more time and looking at him one more time. Luckily I got to hold him for three hours before we left for home. It was such a good feeling to hold him against my chest and be able to kiss his little forehead all I wanted. It was very hard not to cry and lose it going home, but I tried to be strong.
Declan is quite the mix of Kris and I. Declan definitely has Kris's body. Very long, big hands and feet. His feet already are the length of my palm. I do not have the biggest hands, but that is big to me. I think he has more of my features on his face...but then I see Kris in him too. He has my small ears also :) Such a cute little bug. Also was born with quite a bit of hair. Very dark when he came out with a little curl to it,(he inherited that from both of us).
I want to thank you all for all your thoughts and prayers. I know that prayer truly helped him, myself, and Kris--such a powerful thing that is taken for granted sometimes. I will keep you posted further along. They say his release date is DUE DATE, but they say that just so you do not get your hopes up; which is fine with me. I hate not having him here by my side, but I would rather have him be 100% before he goes home. Kris and I are saying he will be home around Thanksgiving, but we shall see.
I love my little Declan. He is such a blessing--and I am going to hold him so tightly when I get him home and do my best to protect him and provide for him. You are loved so very much my baby boy!!