Last year in January the Motel had over $20,000 dollars of money stay here. This year...only $13,000 or less. So you could say "OUCH" and yes we are being affected by this. People are just not getting enough business to have their employees stay here or getting any business out here at all--so I'm not having as many companies stay here as I have had in the past.
So---as of this morning my boss came in and said that I need to cut hours. Not "let-go" anyone, but cut some hours. I have been given an automatic three hours a day or sometimes a little more just depends on how hard they work and if it was a "Bad-day". But now...I'm pretty much going to have to let them work what they work...maybe give them 2 hours a day automatically. But if they are late then that's their fault. If they have to leave soon, then that's their fault. It really sucks to do this. I'm sure I'll get some who really depend on the extra hours get mad or quit--threatening to quit behind my back. But--I'm not going to fire anyone...if some girls quit and that leaves just a few girls to do the Motel, then that will help them get more hours--but in turn they have to work harder-- it is just a win or loose situation... So we'll see how this all works out..."yea me..."
Another thing that has been going on in my mind is... I'm sure this is going to annoy people and I'll just sound like a typical girl--but here I go:
Why do I have to be over-weight?? Sure I had a kid---no excuse really. I see how some moms have kids and they look exactly like they were before having kids--or BETTER. Me on the other hand, not so lucky...I am the heaviest I've been before having a kiddo. It is just annoying. I worked out and was doing good there and eating less, but then that affected my Hypoglycemic tendencies. So then I ate more and still worked out here and there--and it just doesn't seem to be working. I swear I have gained more since I have tried to watch what I eat. It is just annoying to think you are eating better and then get on the scale and see that you've gained three pounds!! I don't care if I have a few curves...but I still want to feel somewhat good about myself---more confident. I guess I am just around ridiculously skinny people a lot--*no names Rachel, Becky, Kym, Kalab, Kris--pretty much all Mullins's except me*...and I just feel like a whale most of the time...
Plus sometimes when I hear people talk about other people saying they are fat or chubby---and knowing with no doubt that I am bigger and heavier-- makes me wonder what they think about me. I don't want to have the perfect body--though yes that would be nice-- I just want to be healthier and more confident. When you see me, you'll most likely see me in a hoodie, jacket, T-shirt and jeans. Yes, they are comfortable and have always been my favorite type of clothing--not the most stylish on earth--but at the same time it "hides" yucky rolls :] or so I think :]
So all you people who have a good metabolism-- BE GRATEFUL! :]
Just how I'm feeling...I'll get over it eventually :]
14 comments:
Hey Kenzee,
I struggle with the same feelings sometimes too! It's hard to have a body type that easily puts on weight. You always have to be concious about what you're eating or else it will backfire on you. My sisters have always been the skinny ones in the family... and me not so much! So just to let you know, I know how it feels and I totally empathize with you! I think you're beautiful :)
Love,
Megan :)
Hi Kenzee!
Ok i hope you don't mind me writing this to you. My husband used to be very over-weight! A lot of it was his confidence. Once he had the self-esteem he needed his body started to change. You are a beautiful person and just because someone is skinny does not mean they are healthy! Being healthy is not a number it's a lifestyle, this is something I have learned being married to my husband. Also what type of work- out program are you on meaning do you do cardio or weights? You also talked about when you ate less you gained more. Food is energy and when you are not eating much your body stores more fat. I hope you do not take this offensive. Chris and I just started our wellness business and this is what we do...we love helping people have total wellness and love helping them be healthy. If you have any question do not hesitate. Just know that you are worth it and a such a lovely person.
Ker
Hey girl! This economy stuff it crazy and I hate it! And I know it must be hard on you to have to cut back peoples hours! I can't even imagine! I just hope this will pass or something it is VERY scary!
Ok I can REALLY relate to you when you talk about losing weight. I get so discouraged and let me tell you girl.. I am at the biggest I have ever been and it just is not good. And we are so alike.. you will most likely see me in a hoodie, t-shirt, sweatpants (Im hardly ever in jeans). and I wear this stuff to keep my rolls covered up. I honestly am very dissapointed with myself. Maybe we can get together or something and workout and try to motivate each other or something.. I don't know but maybe if we do it together something might work!
HEHE! I understand.. I don't get out much either because Lance is always at work and I have no one to watch the kids so I TRY to workout at home and to be honest with you I hardly workout and I eat pretty much not good foods. I just don't know what else to do! I want to try weight watchers..?
I HEAR YA SISTAH!!!! HEY, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY- YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK FAT COMPARED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
have you ever tried weight watchers? best weight loss program in the world!!!! i lost 70 pounds in 4 months on weight watchers and kept it off for 2 years, until i started taking a medication that made me gain weight and gained it all back! after that i just kind of gave up, until now. i started back to weight watchers last week! why don't you join and we can do it together and spur each other on. we could even start our very own blog about it! i've been wanting someone to do this with me! if you can't go to the meetings, you can do it online but the meetings are awesome! they offer SO much encouragement and lots of good information! please say you'll do it!!!!!!
by the way, megan's right! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!
we can get dezaree and megan to join us too if they want to! weight watchers is a very healthy program too! you eat all regular food and you can even eat "forbidden" foods as long as you count the points! it's really not that hard to do!
I couldn't help but notice that when you named the 'skinny mullins' you didn't include me and sam!! I forgive you! No seriously, I don't know who Ker is but she is right. I think the biggest thing is diet. I have been packing it on for awhile and can't take it off in one month. I have lost 3 pounds this month (portion control, exercise at least 3 times a week). You just really need to make yourself a priority if thats what you wanna do. I think you are b-e-a-utiful and Kris couldn't be luckier. I do know how you feel. Your body will never be the same after Declan but do what you need to do to feel better about yourself! Already miss you!
Ok So I have to defend the side of the Mullins who have been black Balled :0) HAHA! J/K
Kenzee You are so beautiful, and Laura is right Kris couldn't be more lucky. Besides no one else would put up with his crap! :)
My advice is.... I know I know I'm a skinny Mullins so I have no say so, but that's the great thing about this is I still get to give you get my two cents even if you didn't ask for it.
So with that... my advice: I think you need to go to a diebets doctor and get on a schedule. Kenzee get your sugar checked regular and keep track of it then you know what it is doing and not just guessing. It will be less stress on you and your body. Once you start feeling good about yourself, your body will start to feel good.
I might not have problems with weight right now in my life, but I have my own problems with my heart and my female organs... so I know what it's like to be sick.
REMEMBER!!!!! The most important thing is that your a daughter of God and it doesn't matter how you see yourself or how you THINK everyone else sees you it only matters what he thinks and I know... he thinks your beautiful and a perfect girl.
The other thing you need to realize is that is your not alone. It's ok to ask God for help, and to let him guide you with medical help.
The Atonement is not only for sins, it can help heal you in all aspects. I found this talk when I was going through my stuff last summer and this really helped me:
The Atonement of Jesus Christ and the healing it offers do much more than provide the opportunity for repentance from sins. The Atonement also gives us the strength to endure “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind,” because our Savior also took upon Him “the pains and the sicknesses of his people” (Alma 7:11). Brothers and sisters, if your faith and prayers and the power of the priesthood do not heal you from an affliction, the power of the Atonement will surely give you the strength to bear the burden.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,” the Savior said, “and I will give you rest … unto your souls” (Matthew 11:28–29).
Remember Faith with out Works is dead... we can't just sit around hoping that if we wish hard enough that it will happen. It doesn't hurt to go to the doctor, expecially when its something as serious as diabets. Your not suppose to do it all on your own.
OK SORRY I'll quit preaching. I love you Kenz and I just want you to be safe that's all.
HI there
I just want to say that I think you are so pretty! You are such a sweet person. No one really wants advise about food and weight so I don't have any. I think you are great and look great! Do what makes you feel good about yourself.
ha ha ha ha! I think that's hilarious. Do you know how many fellow 'sisters' you could tag team with? Put me on that band wagon. I'm feelin' a lot better now that working out much more, but 1 lb a week... or two weeks, MAYBE! Jeez! You're preaching to the choir, but it feels so good to get it off your chest huh. Too bad we can't get it off our chest for real! (and tummy, thighs, butt....)
also, I'm sorry about your management responsibilities. That sucks. Thanks for posting this. It's good to keep it real
running a motel seems pretty stressful.. hopefully things will get better :)
Um....we need to have a chat little sister. Believe me, of all people, I know what you are going through. Our numbers might not be the same, (and I pray you will never ever get to my number), but it comes down to it, you and I have always lacked the confidence to feel good about the way we look....no mater what size we were/are. Need I remind you of your little episode in jr. high/high school?
Since I have been this size for a while now, I sometimes forget that I am bigger, until someone kindly reminds me of it. I have been learning to love myself no matter what size I am, and take one day at a time. I have started to set goals, and am finally achieving them, knowing that if I fail.....it's going to be okay. Knowing that I am not a failure, and I need to find another way to work through things and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I am loved NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! My husband loves me, Heavenly Father loves me, my family loves me, and I kind of like me on most days.....that part I am working on every day. Yes, I can let how people look at me that I haven't seen for a while effect me. And yes, I want to punch people in the ovary when they ask if I am pregnant. But does it really matter? Doesn't it matter more how we feel about ourselves? If you are uncomfortable with how you look, then by all means change that. Make yourself happy. But if you are trying to measure up to what people think you should look like....or try to get as skinny as a Mullins :).....it's not going to happen. Our family isn't built that way, and you will never be happy. (again, think about the episode you went through in jr. high/high school). That's not a pretty picture to me. What IS pretty, or better yet....BEAUTIFUL, is you. You....no matter what shape and size you come in. You are more beautiful and talented than you will ever know. And I am very blessed to have you as my sister. Kris is lucky to have you as a wife. Declan is lucky to have you as his mother. But even more....do you know how lucky you are? Don't take any of this for granted Kenz.
If it takes going to a doctor to figure things out, then do it. Every one has to go through different things until we figure out what works best for us. What works for one, won't work for others. Our family tends to be especially difficult when it comes to weight loss. If you are interested, I will send you the routine that I have been doing. This is the first thing, after MANY MANY, that I is FINALLY working for me. Couldn't hurt to try it. :)
I love you Jo Jo. It will all work out. You have to have faith.....and PATIENCE, that it will.
i feel the same way about you! let me know when and if you join ww. did you see i lost 7.8 pounds last week so it really does work!!!!
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